There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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