He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
