Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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