THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
