i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
