i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize