you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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