i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
