you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
