Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
