i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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