I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize