So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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