Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
