Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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