Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
