How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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