It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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