Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
