Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
