my mouth tastes like poor choices
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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