It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we're so committed to being not committed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize