yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
