We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
