i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
