Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
they need to just BURY HIM!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
