I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Quick, to the slutcave!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Randomize
