He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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