It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
