Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
