there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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