She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
