I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
