My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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