bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
