Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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