Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
