I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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