everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
