when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
