i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I should be sponsored by Trojan
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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