Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
