Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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