Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
