I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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