I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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