im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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