So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
