I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
bring money and cleavage
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
