he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
