I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize