you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
