STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Of course I have a pirate flag
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
