Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
