My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
