Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
