Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
do nipples grow back?
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