the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
