you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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