4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
