I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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